Sweet, Sweet Revenge
by tribalbutterfly
Summary: Legolas gets revenge on Elladan, Elrohir and Estel for all the pranks that they have played on him. DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the LOTR characters!


Legolas growled in frustration as he struggled against the ropes that bound his wrists. He cursed himself for being caught unawares, but he had not expected the cup of wine to be drugged.  
  
When he had awoken, his arms were bound behind his back and he was sitting on a chair in an almost barren room.  
  
His silver-blue eyes narrowed in anger. 'I'm going to rip out their throats,' he fumed.  
  
Just then, the door began to open. Legolas quickly feigned sleep. His keen elven hearing picked up the sound of three people entering the room.  
  
He kept his breathing deep and even, as he knew that the only way to escape was to ensure that he tricked his captors into believing that he was harmless.  
  
The footsteps came to a halt directly in front of him and his teeth gritted as he caught bits and pieces of their murmured words.  
  
"Cut...hair...maybe...hang...upside...naked...feathers...pink dye...crazy horse...,"  
  
He opened one eye slightly and focused on the three dark-haired people conversing with each other. Their backs were to him, consequently, they failed to notice that the Prince of Mirkwood was stealthily loosening his bonds.  
  
'Dumbasses,' he thought as he felt the knot slip. 'Should've used chains.'  
  
He left the rope around his wrists loose enough to allow movement, but kept them in place to continue the pretense of still being tied.  
  
He continued to feign unconsciousness as the twins and their foster brother came to a decision on his fate - something entailing honey, feathers and one of Arwen's blue, low-cut dresses - that had him barely suppressing a shudder.  
  
If he didn't get out of this, he'd be the laughingstock of Rivendell.  
  
His lips twitched slightly as he remembered why Estel, Elladan and Elrohir were so anxious to humiliate him...  
  
Flashback  
  
A week ago, Legolas, fed up of the pranks that were constantly being pulled on him by the three, decided to take matters into his own hands and get revenge.  
  
First, he had targeted Elladan. He knew that the Elf was planning to go riding that day and had arranged for the groom in the stables to tell Elrond's son that his horse was unable to run that day and for him to be given Mathior - an extremely high spirited stallion - with one fault that Elladan did not know of. The horse loved to lie down...in mud.  
  
Legolas grinned as he had recalled the heavy shower that had occurred just a few hours ago. Elladan liked to ride through the forest, close to the riverbank, so he knew that the probability of the Elf encountering a mud puddle was high. If not, Legolas shrugged. At least it would be entertaining to see Elladan try to get off the horse when he got back to Rivendell.  
  
Legolas planned to make that task difficult as well. He had found the strongest glue in the palace and as he heard Elladan readying himself to go to the stables, he slipped down and spread the glue all over the seat of the young Elf's saddle.  
  
He could barely contain his mirth as he heard the groom explain the situation and saw Elladan swing himself up onto Mathior. He knew that the glue would dry quickly and that when it did, Elladan would have the devil's own time trying to get loose.  
  
Giving in to his pent up laughter, Mirkwood's prince, fell onto the stable floor, holding his sides.  
  
************************************  
  
Elladan galloped across the forest seated on Mathior. 'Why, this horse rides like a dream,' he thought. 'I wonder why no one ever told me about him before?'  
  
He raised his face to the wind as he steered his mount towards the river. The air was crisp and fresh with the scents that arose after a rainfall. His keen dark blue eyes noted his surroundings as the horse galloped on. Suddenly, a neigh from Mathior drew his attention. He looked about to see what was causing the horse's agitation, but could see nothing.  
  
Nothing except an exceedingly large puddle of mud.  
  
Elladan tugged on the reins, in order to turn the horse away, but to no avail. The bloody animal kept on running towards the brown muck, and in fact, seemed to be picking up speed.  
  
"Shit," he cursed, and prepared to leap off the horse's back. He made an attempt to get up and his brows creased in puzzlement. He couldn't move!  
  
"ESTEL!" he roared, knowing that this was exactly the sort of thing that the human would do. "I'm going to ki..." His words were drowned out by the sudden shower of filthy mud that hit him in the face.  
  
He wiped the mud from his face and glared at the horse. The damnable creature was lying in the puddle, with mud almost up to the saddle and neighing happily. Elladan's eyes widened slightly as he felt the shift and he had time to do no more than gurgle a protest, before the animal plopped on his side, dunking the Elf into the cold, slimy mess.  
  
His hands had clenched. 'I'm going to skin him alive.'  
  
****************************  
  
Legolas had been keeping a vigil from the trees above the stable, waiting for Elladan's arrival. It had been five hours since he had set out and as night approached, the blond archer was beginning to get bored. Just as he was preparing to jump down, he heard the sound of hoofbeats. His eyes had widened at the sight of Elladan coated in mud - from the top of his dark head to his feet. The horse was in the same condition and Legolas had to swallow his laughter before Elladan heard him.  
  
He descended lightly and followed Elladan into the stables. He kept to the shadows as he heard Elrohir's startled voice. "Elladan?"  
  
"What?" came the growl.  
  
Legolas bit the inside of his cheek to keep from releasing his mirth. It was harder still, when Elrohir proceeded to erupt into gales of laughter.  
  
"What happened?" he asked his twin.  
  
"Horse...likes...mud," was the gritted reply.  
  
"And apparently, so do you," his brother chuckled. "Well dismount, and I'll take care of the beast while you get cleaned up."  
  
"Can't." Elladan was now only capable of speaking in monosyllables.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Stuck."  
  
Elrohir tried not to laugh. He really did. But the image of Elladan stuck to a horse while it rolled about in mud was too much for him to handle. He leaned weakly against a stall door and howled with laughter. The disgruntled look that his brother shot him didn't help matters any.  
  
"You - you," he couldn't get any further.  
  
"Shut up."  
  
Legolas heard the sound of laughter being stifled - with a supreme effort - and then Elrohir spoke up.  
  
"How are you going to get down?"  
  
Elladan glared at him. "I wouldn't be stuck here if I knew the answer to that, now would I?"  
  
After a few grunts, which Legolas took to be Elrohir trying to tug his brother off, there was another peal of laughter. "You're going to have to take off your leggings."  
  
"No."  
  
"Suit yourself," Elrohir shrugged. "But you ain't coming off otherwise."  
  
By this time, tears were pouring down Legolas' cheeks and his face had turned pink in an effort to keep silent.  
  
But he lost the battle however, when a loud ripping sound was heard from the brothers' direction. He managed to make it outside, before he fell to his knees and laughed until he was gasping for breath.  
  
Hearing footsteps coming towards him from the stables, he quickly climbed a tree, hid amongst the leafy branches and peered down.  
  
The sight he beheld, had him almost tumbling down. Elladan was furtively walking towards the palace, a HUGE hole in the seat of his leggings, with Elrohir trying to walk discreetly behind his brother, in order to conceal his bare bum.  
  
"Talk about 'covering your arse'," Legolas murmured before he once again succumbed to gales of laughter.  
  
***************************  
  
His next prank involved Elrohir. He knew that the Elf had developed a fondness for one of the beautiful Elf maidens that lived in Rivendell. He also knew that every day at five, Elrohir would meet the she-elf in the palace gardens for a picnic.  
  
He remembered that Gandalf had left a book of potions in the herb room the last time that he had visited, and he went in search of it. He found the leather bound object tucked away on a shelf and proceeded to read.  
  
A wicked smile curved over his lips. Oh, this was too perfect...  
  
*********************************  
  
Elrohir hummed as he packed the picnic basket. In fifteen minutes, he would be meeting Aleine and he could barely contain his excitement. Today would be the day that he finally made his move and he was eager to feel the raven-haired beauty in his arms.  
  
Just then, Legolas ran into the kitchen. "Elrohir!"  
  
He looked up. "What is it?"  
  
"I think Elladan is trying to strangle Estel."  
  
"Oh, Valar!" Elrohir exclaimed and stalked outside. He hoped that this would not take long.  
  
Legolas watched him go and he grinned. Quickly, he looked in the basket. He knew that apple tarts were Elrohir's favourite dessert whilst Aleine liked strawberry. He had often teased the Elf about his catering to his lady's every whim.  
  
Now, he searched the contents and found the treat that Elrohir had packed for himself. Skillfully, he dusted the crust with a fine cinnamon hued powder. Next, he located the wine flasks and picked up Elrohir's ornately carved silver one. He poured another powder - this one green, into it and resealed the top.  
  
He packed back everything and left the kitchen.  
  
Not a moment too soon. As he rounded the corner, he saw Elrohir enter the room, muttering under his breath about reckless elves and damnable humans. A few minutes later, he left, the basket swinging under his arm. Legolas quietly followed.  
  
**************************  
  
"Your eyes captivate me, lovely one. I want to get lost in them forever."  
  
Legolas rolled his eyes. Did that junk actually work? So far, for the past hour, all he had heard was Elrohir spout meaningless nonsense and heard the she-elf simper like a half-witted idiot. If he had to listen to this for much longer, he was going to fall into a coma.  
  
His ears perked up as he heard Elrohir say, "And now for the first part of dessert."  
  
Legolas grinned and rubbed his hands together. 'Finally,' he thought.  
  
He heard the unmistakable sound of a kiss and he almost groaned. Would Elrohir EVER get to eating the damned APPLE tart?  
  
His musings were interrupted by the sound of Elrohir yelping in pain. Legolas chuckled. 'Guess he tasted the pepper powder.'  
  
He heard the Elf call for something to drink and Legolas laughed again, creeping forward to peer through the foliage. He saw Aleine hand the tall Elf his wine flask and saw Elrohir drink deeply. Elrohir's back was to Legolas so he couldn't see his face, but he did hear Aleine's peal of laughter.  
  
"By the Valar!" she managed, before losing it totally.  
  
"What?" Elrohir demanded, staring at the laughing she-elf as if she was demented.  
  
"You-your teeth!" she managed.  
  
Elrohir walked to the fountain in the garden and Legolas heard his enraged shriek. "GREEN!"  
  
He spun around and Legolas bit his hand to keep from laughing out loud. 'Guess Gandalf knew what he was talking about,' he thought. Elrohir's teeth were a deep moss green - and Legolas knew that the colour wouldn't fade for three days. He made a mental note to yell "Fungus!" the next time he saw Elrohir.  
  
He heard the Elf yell, "ESTEL!" before he stalked into the palace.  
  
Legolas grinned. Oh, things were perfect. He walked off, the sound of Aleine's laughter following him as he climbed the palace stairs.  
  
***************************  
  
Aragorn bolted his bedroom door and leaned against it, breathing heavily. For some reason, his foster brothers wanted to kill him. They had advanced on him, one muttering about a demented horse and the other one, with a green grimace and something about rolling him down the steepest hill in Rivendell.  
  
Just then, he heard a knock on his door. "Estel!"  
  
He opened the door and pulled the blond Elf inside. "Legolas! You've got to help me! They've gone mad!"  
  
"Well what did you expect, Estel? Those pranks were good though."  
  
"What pranks?" Aragorn asked.  
  
"Don't play innocent. You know exactly what I am talking about." Legolas laughed. "Pure genius Estel. Pure genius."  
  
He leaned against the door. "But I would advise you to run. Now."  
  
"Why?" Aragorn asked.  
  
Legolas sighed. "Well, at least I warned you."  
  
The last thing Aragorn remembered was a sharp pain behind his neck before the blackness closed in on him.  
  
*************************  
  
The sound of laughter awoke Aragorn. Fuzzily, he opened his eyes and was instantly mortified. He was naked, except for his underwear and was lying outside the palace, surrounded by laughing elves. They were whispering amongst themselves and he caught the words, "Face" and "Hair".  
  
He raised a fearful hand to his hair and was stunned when he felt it stiff, coated in tree sap and standing straight up in the air. The fingers that he brought to his face, came away stained in purple and orange.  
  
"LEGOLAS!" he yelled, jumping to his feet and stalking off. The Elves who were treated to the sight of his behind roared with laughter as they saw the purple and orange hearts drawn onto his underpants with the words 'Love Me' written there.  
  
Aragorn sped inside the palace, his face red with rage and humiliation. It was his bad luck to bounce into Elrond and Glorfindel as he was almost to his room. Elrond quirked an eyebrow.  
  
"Uhh...," Aragorn simply shut up and fled.  
  
Elrond and Glorfindel stared at his retreating behind, looked at each other and burst into laughter.  
  
End Flashback  
  
So now, Legolas was on his way to be tortured for the pranks that he had pulled. He had no doubts that they had planned something especially spectacular for him. It had taken them two days before they had stopped trying to chase him and break him in two - especially since he had warned them that if they did, he would shoot them with pepper-tipped arrows.  
  
But now, they had gathered their forces and had actually caught him. He cursed them again mentally. They were smart. He had no idea how they did it, but they had managed to pour some sort of powder in his wine. He had to congratulate them on their stealth though.  
  
He heard the footsteps as the came towards him. Opening his eye a crack once again, he saw Aragorn holding a frothy blue confection of ruffles and lace, along with a jar of honey and a small sack that contained what Legolas guessed were the feathers.  
  
He let his body go limp as he was lifted from the chair and flung over Elladan's shoulder. Quickly, he closed his eyes, but was a fraction of a second too late. Elrohir had seen him and grinned evilly. "Goodnight, Sleeping Beauty."  
  
He clocked the blond Elf over his head and watched him fall back into unconsciousness.  
  
****************************  
  
When Legolas awoke, he realized with chagrin that he was totally and utterly naked. Thankfully, the brothers had not started putting their concoction on him as yet, as they were still trying to decide who would do what.  
  
He tested his bonds and sighed soundlessly in relief. They were still loose! His eyes did a quick study of his surroundings and he almost groaned as he realized that they were in the back of the Rivendell gardens.  
  
'Great,' he thought. 'No way for me to escape from THIS unnoticed.'  
  
He slipped his hands from the ropes and felt sand below his fingertips. Slowly, he smiled. Perfect.  
  
He filled his hands with sand and stirred as if he was awakening. The movement drew their attention and they began walking towards him.  
  
"So, princey, got enough beauty sleep?" Elladan sneered.  
  
"You know something?" Legolas asked.  
  
"What?" Elrohir wanted to know.  
  
""Elves are always cranky when they wake up." With that, Legolas tossed the handfuls of sand into their faces. When they cried out and their hands flew to their eyes, he jumped up and faced Aragorn.  
  
"Your turn Estel," he said softly, grinning.  
  
Aragorn looked frantically about for an exit. He had made a move to run, when Legolas jumped nimbly in front of him and clipped him on the jaw. Not hard enough to break anything, but sufficient to render the young man unconscious.  
  
He picked up the long length of rope that had been used to tie him and dragged Aragorn over to where his brothers sat, rubbing the last traces of sand from their eyes. They gave startled exclamations as Legolas proceeded to wrap the rope around the three of them and tie a deft knot.  
  
He laughed at their outraged expressions. "You should really learn how to tie a rope properly," he advised.  
  
Elrohir snarled and lunged at the fair Elf. The movement was unexpected and caused the three - well - two - Aragorn was still out of it - to tumble to the ground.  
  
Legolas laughed and began searching for his clothes. Not finding them anywhere, he turned to the others. "Where are my clothes?" he asked, in a dangerously soft voice.  
  
Elladan laughed. "Inside the palace," he snickered.  
  
Legolas glared at him, then a smile curved over his lips. "Okay then," he murmured. "Have it your way."  
  
He picked up the honey and feathers. The twins groaned. Aragorn awoke at that particular moment and faced the devilishly grinning Elf. "Well, hell."  
  
*************************  
  
Legolas lay on his bed and laughed. What a day! He had strode through Elrond's palace, naked as the day he was born, causing many a she-elf to squeal - whether in shock or delight - he did not know.  
  
As luck would have it, he had encountered Glorfindel on the way to his rooms. When the older Elf had simply stared at him, Legolas explained the situation and watched as a corner of the blond Elf's mouth twitched.  
  
When he told him where, and in what condition, Elrond's sons could be found, the twitch had erupted into full-blown laughter. He had left Glorfindel doubled over, slapping his knee.  
  
He had asked Glorfindel to at least give him time to get to his quarters before he released the others and the Elf Lord had laughingly agreed.  
  
Legolas had reached inside his door and locked it before shouting to Glorfindel that he could let them loose.  
  
He had heard the shout of laughter as Glorfindel found them, in addition to some choice phrases from the brothers as they raced towards his room. Fortunately, the door was sturdy and they could do little more than pound on the thick wood.  
  
Eventually, they had gone away and Legolas had flung himself on his bed with a smile. Tomorrow was going to be a very interesting day. He looked at the setting sun and wondered how long it was possible for an Elf to hide up in a tree for.......  
  
THE END 


End file.
